It’s a common question among journalists about the possible reasons that generation Y or what is also known as the millennial generation is not tying the knot. I have had children of the baby-boomer generation express concern to me that neither their daughter or son have not yet gotten married and most of them are in late twenties. There seems to be an existential threat that is preventing today’s children from forming peer bonds that will last them till death. Below are ten reasons I believe millennials are not getting married.
- No parental support:
In the past parents would often guide the relationships between their children. When Johnny was interested in Ann from across the street his parents would plan a meeting to contacts Ann’s parents. Both parents seeing that their teenage children were mutually interested in each other would plan a series of dates in which a chaperone usually one of the children’s siblings would attend to ensure that they are behaving. Parents would also council the children who may be fickle about the other date which is usually based on superficial reasons such as a petty disagreement that always occurs in relationships. Today’s youth would immediately block someone on social media for the slightest disagreement. Parents in the 20th century would guide their kids to ensure that they stick with their partner through the tough times because they knew that we all have a window of time to select the best partner to have children with.
- They are special:
Most of today’s youth have been told that they are special by their parents which is amazing but their parents never instilled some form of humility and cooperation in their children, so when these kids get into long term relationships that are supposed to lead to marriage many kids do not know how to communicate or compromise with their partners wishes. Often times this leads to the breakup of relationships for what would be deemed in the past as silly reasons. Many millennials are entitled and lack the stick-to-it-ness to see a relationship through the tough times. I have seen many relationships destroyed by a simple misunderstanding that could have been easily worked out among partners.
- They are career oriented:
In the early 20th century there were mainly manufacturing jobs available with companies such as Ford and Coca Cola. Men and woman alike flocked to the assembly line though at different times in the century. Life was easy and less complicated; today we have the dotcom boom as well as the advent of cryptocurrencies and life is faster paced. Most millennials are focused on their careers and getting more degrees to worry about marriages. This tends to affect women the most as they have a shorter time frame in which to make children. When asked about marriage most people today say that they have plenty of time in their thirties to tie the knot and that their career is the top priority.
- Few siblings:
Generation X is characterized as parents having only one or if most two children per household. As a result children grow up lacking social and communication skills that would help them in navigating the many difficulties of a long term relationship. Having a lot of brothers and sisters helps an individual understand how to deal with a wide array of personalities and they learn quickly how to extinguish tension among their siblings. These skills transfer over to one’s dating life where the ability to compromise with one another is one of the key building blocks for a successful relationship.
- Lack of money:
Many of today’s youth are lacking the financial capital to get married due to the fact that there are fewer jobs available and most of the heavy lifting is done by computers and automated systems. As a result there are many millennials who are still at home with their parents. Getting married costs a lot of money especially if you are looking to have an extravagant wedding, you have to pay to rent the church, buy the wedding dress, the groom’s suit, the cake, rent the reception hall and finally the resort for the honey moon. Due to the expensive cost of marriages these days many milliennials are deciding to post pone getting married until their thirties.
- Single moms dead beat dads:
The number one reason why millennials are no longer getting married is because we live in a society that accepts the culture of single parenthood. Being a single parent is great but it is a trend that is causing a general culture of independence from one another. People are sleeping together with no strings attached often this results in a baby and since we are in a culture of single parents people are quite happy to raise a child on its own without the two parent household that is often needed to raise children.
Many youth today admit that at some point in life they will eventually get married. However there is a lack of a sense of urgency that is pervasive in our generation when it comes to anything quite frankly. We need to speak out and guide the youth to have more structure in their relations with one another and hopefully as a result we will see a climb in the marriage rates.